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Updates from across the nation. [Feb. 26th, 2009|01:30 pm]
As usual, a long over due post. Honestly i just kind of clicked post, I don't know what my last post was...or when it was posted. I figure it was before i became a 'Soldier'.

It is 'not' what i expected it to be. While certain parts are as expected IE: Waking up at 4 AM for PT, Chow, and training. I find that the discipline I'd been hoping to get, doesn't exactly exist...here at least. Every day however I am getting more knowledge towards my job specific tasks. Right now we're in the Sims (Simulators), we are drilled for 3 hours as an AO (Aircraft Operator) with emergencies and flight checklists and procedures. The other 3 hours are spent as the MPO (Mission Payload Operator), during this time we learn how to create and implement a mission planning strategy of sorts, providing over watch to soldiers on the ground.

Amusing part of sims...if a soldier gets shot...they blow up in a huge flame...programming is a little........odd there.

I've been through RSTA-PO Which was map reading/navigation skills. RSTA-I which was imagery analysis, FAA AKA: UGHS Probably the most boring class out of them all.....8 hours a day on the rules and laws of flight...anywhere above the surface of earth....bet you can figure out where it got the nickname ughs...Then came Emplace/ Displace which was a brief over view of how to set up a mission base to run operation with our Aircraft. Now...we're in sims, as stated earlier.

I find myself feeling trapped...I know I joined the army...the reasons for doing it...but at the same time I feel as though I've literally fucked myself over. I know there was little i could do for this situation of course, but there is this girl who I literally LOVE and in the process of joining the Army...I believe I have let any opportunity of EVER getting close...has vanished. At the same time i know said person is 'happy' the way they are, and i know that i should be proud of this fact...I am...I've come to terms with the chances being stacked against me ever since the move, and to ruin a good thing would be selfish right? But i can see what i am becoming to this person. It hurts.

As i have intended from the start, i will stand by for any time they are in need of a friend to talk to, but i am beginning to realize that within a year or two, with how little we talk...i'll be in the situation Mero was in when we were together...and slowly as such, fade away.
I had to speak up....i'm sick of being quiet.

Task Force Odin. Ft. Hood, Texas...is the new assignment
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-Gasp- [May. 22nd, 2008|12:18 am]
Well, its odd to think i might actually beginning to get into a regular posting schedule. Wait what am i saying? of course it isn't regular Hah.

Figured I'd let it slip more into public since no one seems to check this anymore, i don't think i have much fear of being attacked.

I decided to join the Armed Forces, not because i believe that this war is 'right' because i wont know anything for certain until I'm part of the system.
Today i went to the MEPS (Military Entree Processing Station -something like that-) Where they run multiple tests to see if you are indeed fit to join the Military, needless to say i did fine, however dealing with someone staring over your shoulder while attempting to urinate was...not the most favorite of activities...................................awkward......

Basically they do a full physical to make sure you can move.....and that you haven't taken drugs.

From there you are Processed, this is having your Job looked through for me, 15 Whiskey.

A 15 Whiskey is an UnManned Aerial Vehicle Operator, quite naturally we fly UAV's and maintain them, during this process they run a backround check on any criminal acts, and clear you for your job.

Honestly the worst part of my day started after that moment. Waking up at 4 wasn't a problem, getting man handled.....fine...(hah) but at this point waiting began, I waited 3 hours.....for finger printing..and then another 2 hours for the final interview...got home at 5 this evening after being sworn in and crashed, woke up around well 10'ish and will probably be awake most of the night.

People ask me if I've really given enough thought into going into the armed forces. The answer is not as simple as i would hope it to be. I believe i have a good idea of what needs to change in my life and that the army has the capability to help me reach these goals. I want to be part of a team that helps save lives, while a 15 W wont be directly saving lives through Medical Devices, the surveillance from the sky could potentially save those people who would have otherwise been a casualty of war.

I cannot say that i am joining that army for ALL of the right reasons because that in itself would be either arrogant, or ignorance, maybe a bit of both... but i hope to serve a purpose.

My contract in the service is 5 years, and my last day in Nashville is the 23rd of June, on the 24th i take my final oath and become a Private in the United States Army.
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Catch up? [Apr. 2nd, 2008|08:34 pm]
Its odd, i come back once every i dont know?...maybe half a year to a year? make a few posts........-re vanishes- and such...i find it amazing how much fun it is to catch up given the things i read are not always......easy to swallow i believe that its good to take that time to just reflect whats happened...Char....Sorry about your Bunneh, at least their now in Bunneh heaven...were they can roam freely in prairies of happiness -chuckles at his idiotic description- I guess the most important thing i have to say to Specifically you...since i feel the nameless path would only aid to confusion -considering the fact that usually i feel your typing about me in you LJ when your not XD-.......Charlotte what i read in your journal is your life, its the only connection i have to know whats going on with you while I'm out of town, and YES sometimes i read something and it hurts...ALOT but hey....dont fret, if your happy and your ok with writing it then i have no problems -pats- i'm just glad you haven't cut me out of your life entirely. SOOOOooo in other news well...nothing really.......you'll probably never read this anyway.
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ok [Apr. 2nd, 2008|01:56 pm]
[Current Location |Dorm Room (Moorhead, MN)]
[Current Mood |lonelylonely]
[Current Music |Jimmy Buffet XD]

As always i have that 1 entry i MUST! make each year.......1 entry and an over use of (.........)'s lol...Well lets take a look back shall we? have a looksie?...a GANDER? if we can? I made it into concordia after getting a 22 or 23 on the ACT -second or third time i took it...i cant really remember- After i found this out i received a job at Maggiano's (SP) and i was given the job title: Stocker. Its nice to get 7.30 an hour but its not worth standing in that 3X4 invisible barrier polishing silverware then bussing tables, stocking stations, and helping out with everyones job. The upside to working at a restaurant is the social atmosphere, even when things are going terrible on the floor the kitchen is a pretty at ease place...we all bitch about the same things...laugh...and then run back onto the floor...its a nice cycle.......well i got to college and my roomate is/was Alex Dahl, i'd say i lucked out because he's not a real party guy...so naturally if i decide i want to sleep its not a battle at all because usually i'm the last one in bed anyway. Unfortunately i still have that high school mind set so i am not really trying as hard as i should be...naturally this is pissing off my parents as it should because Concordia is expensive. We're down to the last month count down and i just cant wait to get home to see Stephanie, LeAnn, Chi, Ducky and my other friends. Of course i'm also excited to see my family more Eric and my Dad than anyone else in da fam. Apparently i might join the marines, its up to convincing my parents that this might be the best thing for me right now, so i get that ability to just focus and such. Given you can force yourself i'm sure i have been unable to do that thus far and i feel the marines are intense enough that i wont screw around anymore. My only downside to going into the marines is that i wont get to see people more than once a year for the next 4 years....and beyond that when i come back i will technically be 4 years behind everyone else...I'm afraid Steph wouldn't wait around for me for 4 years but then again i'm already worried about that now because i have 3 years to go and even now i see that 3 years might end up being to long...So here i am slightly confused as to what i'm planning for the rest of mah year...its a big choice...the marines that is because its something i've always wanted to do but i feel like for some reason i'm going in for all the wrong reasons.
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what can i do? [Oct. 16th, 2006|10:34 pm]
[Current Location |Erics room?]
[Current Mood |depressedemo again?]
[Current Music |Moulin Rouge -Your Song]

what else can i do for the people i know? how much longer can i make them smile, when will my act get old. Will they ever just figure out why i've been so out of it recently....i guess the answer to all those is......no and for the smile thing? i'll make them smile till the day i die, then you'll all cry and realize that heck...we should have checked his live journal.....if only we had......he'd still be with us today.....i need some sleep maybe i'll feel better tommarow...maybe i'll finally write some poetry....depressive lame emo shit....that makes people laugh and worry about me at the same time, exept they dont know which one to do because my mood is like a roller coaster since november of last year....hitting extreme highs and then crashing into the ground....atleast i have stephanie....but she is just boosters on the coaster......making me go higher, feeling great. and then throwing me down unintentionally to that point i was at last year....i'm done for tonight....just another tick towards why i dont belong.....my purpose has been served....can i retire? if your going to stop me....then tell me what i can do for you? how can i make you smile? do you want me to do that? it will make it just that much harder when you cant even talk to me anymore.....but i'll allways be there....you just wont know when
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T.T [Oct. 7th, 2006|08:33 pm]
stuff happened.....and i want everyone to know i'm sorry.....for anything i have EVER done....please dont let anything go un apologized for, i hope that if i just apologize for everything now i wont have to when its not my fault...this goes for mostly people in michigan, for people in tennessee i'll begin talking to you one by one because i'm sick of being that good guy who is allways screwing up...there is way to much drama on me this year so far, its stupid i know, i'm sorry alright? thanks for sticking with me even when i seem to hate you...good byee
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uhm sotlen from charlotte [Jun. 18th, 2006|08:41 pm]
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your lj and see what I say about you?
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-gasp- [Jun. 18th, 2006|11:51 am]
[Current Mood |draineddrained]

well ....................not to add emo ness to the live journal but..i tried to wake my brother up about an hour ago which resulted in a fight...leaving me here alone at lavelle/chi/ray's house i know i shouldnt be in here alone and i think i am just going to sit on the steps outside for a few hours until someone comes but i biked over here shoeless and didnt really think of the consequences because i was in a almost breakdown state but here i am..crying...lol i laugh at myself because i feel like a true emo....sitting here alone feeling sorry for myself...i never really remember how much my bike pedals hurt until i bike without shoes...i finally talked to charlotte like 3 times within a week wich is a miracle lol who woulda thunken but that was nice we had a 56 minute phone conversation last night which was CRAZY and i never really noticed but really drama has blown over for the time being i mean there still is a bit but as i kinda said in the last entry none of it really involves me......sure i spiked a fire but if i hadnt leann would have......so i just prepared everyone....so once again here i am alone with noone to talk to....i cant walke to leann/lavelle/beth's work because i dont have shoes and i cant go in those places without shoes....leanns house door is locked so i cant find a pair of shoes......i'm sitting in rays room.....so there must be a pair of shoes in the piles of ....stuff....but i have no bike lock either and i know if i saw leann i'd probably just break down because shes.....leann and i can talk to her but i cant do that while shes working lol i walk in "HEY NELS!" all exited like and then i burst into tears. i dont want to ruine anyones day and i guess i might have just dented a few and for that...i'm sorry i just needed somthing to write and the only place i could write it was here.....thank you ray for the unknowing use of your room...thank you lavelle for leaving the A/C on and ......i hope i see you guys mabey later............i'll be better by then......
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on the road [Jun. 18th, 2006|08:06 am]
[Current Location |some highway]
[Current Mood |determineddetermined]
[Current Music |really bad country garbled thru the radio]

hiya I'm in the car with my father and listening to some of kentukies worst christian radio stations...ex:"god will help you if you help us....and I believe that" ....I`m christian...but that is redicilouse...god helped many people who were not good people he never once said you had to pay to go to heaven...right?...I update my journal about once a year..its a bad thing but everyone knows enough about me in tenessee and I update them more than regularly if they are close enough and I tend to forget that other people like my michigan friends that I never really talk about have any idea if I`m stll alive and for not updating I`m sorry but lets see...on this phone I can't really check my past entries..so I bet that I am going to overlap some...so school ended may 25th since then I have been dealing with summer school like I do every year. I won't be out till july 21st because the summer school system sucks and we can only take 1 class per semester...but I hope to come up during the end od july. because I have some `things` that I want to say and do with my friends I havnt seen for a whole year lmao this radio station is redicilouse lol but what has happened this year I`ll start back at the most dramatic event for me of the year. I was dumped mid november because charlotte wanted to hang out with friends more..and I see her reasoning for doing that and over all I suppose I can thank her for that in december I took act and got a 18 which is as low as you can get to get into an instate college there are a lot of other things lol inbetween this point and now that I can't talk about but feel free to call me...but I have had some great times to rebound november thanks to some good friends and there will allways be highschool drama that I get caught in because I'm the good guy on both sides but at the same time I don't get into nore drama than I would like because in nashville people keep drama to themselves usually which is good for other people..most of the time...so I totally just contradicted myself but I was going for the fact I'm not swamped with dramatic events like freshman year sophmore year summer between those and the issie that ended octoberish that won't be forgotten anytime soon and there was november to but since then everything is uphill I think...I havnt been playing near as many video games as I used to..so that's good I`ve been around my nash friends alot ...as much as I can this summer and its starting to tick my parents off which is funny because they used to ground me for
playing to much computer and now I'm getting to much time with friends so they ground me lol and then if I get on the computer they yell at me for not being at friends houses....but if I go...they just yell at me...its not a big deal but its something.. I`ll make a better entry tonight I hope...mabey if I leave an entry feeling like I`ll put part of it else were then I will keep up live journaling? I can try..
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random convo [Oct. 29th, 2005|09:16 am]
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[Current Music |dads backround southern stuff]

me and char....so random here is an example....
ME: and you heeved it all in the toilet
CHAR: yeah.T_T
Me: y didnt you think of the kids in somalia!
Me:you shoulda heaved it into their mouths!
....all because she threw up...and is a bird...what?...char isnt a penguin -lookes around slowly to charlotte- your not really a penguin are you O.o
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